more random rantings
i've always had trouble finding something to believe in - in religion, in other people, in myself, etc. a person is nothing without their convictions. you need something to believe in, something to keep you going, a reason to get up in the morning. its something i've really struggled with my entire life and had lots of problems because of. getting a tattoo was really important to me. i dont think i could really be able to explain all of my reasons. it was my first tattoo and i tried to talk to my mom about it. i guess i wanted her support. she said she understood and wouldnt be opposed to it. over the summer my mom and i were having a difficult time getting along. at one point she said she felt like she hardly knew me and that all i ever did was lie and sneak around. that i just didnt care about anyone else. she said she wished she could erase my skin. she asked me, "how could beliefs be so important to you when all you do is show others they can't believe in you?". this is me. trying to believe in others, in myself, while misleading and taking advantage of the people who mean the most to me. as you grow up, you learn that the one person that wasnt supposed to ever let you down, probably will. you will have your heart broken more than once, and it gets harder everytime. youll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. youll fight with your best friend and you might even fall in love with him. youll blame new love for things an old one did. youll cry because time is passing so fast and youll eventually lose someone you love. so take too many pictures, laugh way to hard, and love like youve never been hurt, because every minute you spend mad or upset is a minutes of happiness you can never get back. its been rough, and though i climb outta of this canyon, i always find someone who wants to push me back in. sorry for the randomrandomness... i miss himMood:
Loved... by an angelLabels: Save
contemplated existance at 9:52 PM
