3.29.2005

2:12 AM

i'll spit at the stars for every hope and every wish that never made it.

waste away all of these worries at the bottles bottom
rot them away realize why you've got 'em
scream the lines you meant to find so long ago
but now its too late to break down
in your bathroom you're bleeding out
Yeah, I might feel defeated,
And I might hang my head,
I might be barely breathing,
But I'm not dead
'Cause tomorrow's another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain

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contemplated existance at 2:12 AM

3.25.2005

1:18 PM

vegetarianism

"Auschwitz begins whenever someone looks at a slaughterhouse and thinks: They're only animals." -Theodor Adorno-

yea, this shit makes me cry. i wish i could do more than just not eat animals. i know like 3 vegetarians. thats sick.

Unseen they suffer
Unheard they cry
In agony they linger
In loneliness they die

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." -Gandhi-

"The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for whites or women were for men." -Alice Walker-

"Its a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." -Harriet Beecher Stowe-

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contemplated existance at 1:18 PM

3.19.2005

10:09 PM

idk where i get this shit, just let me run with it.

"so this is kind of akquard, but after my little public service announcement ill let you get on with 1st period and the rest of youre lives. but first, i have to say how important it is that you be safe, visit the doctor anytime that something is wrong, or else thingsll get worse. two months ago i started getting severe headaches. no big deal, right? until two weeks ago i was at 10 pills an hour with no relief. i went expecting them to tell me i was under too much stress and give me prescription pain relievers. wrong. there was a factor of stress involved, true, but it was pressure on my brain. the doctors told me it was too late. i waited too long, put off going to the doctor, and because i could not find time in my, what seemed to be, busy schedual, i wont have time or a future. ok, im getting a bit dramatic so ill wrap it up. i have a gigantic brain tumor in my right hemisphere. i shouldve figured something three weeks ago when i couldnt even lay my head down to sleep. i really dont know why im up here today, besides the fact that it would be more painful for me to talk to my friends individually, i just wanted to shoot it out in the open and kill any rumors. theyre going to try to remove in a few days, but incase that doesnt work or makes me worse, i want you to know that i am dying. not like with dave this fall whom was a big suprise. not that i can compare myself to dave, but i dont know if i like knowing i only have a few months to live or just not waking up... i dont know where im going with this, but if anyone needs to talk, im here, i always have been good at giving advise. so if you want any, you better get it now! thats a little humor for you. other than that i dont know what to say. i love the majority of you and though i wish i wouldve made it to college, this is the next best thing. ill always wish for more, but you all still have your whole lives ahead of you, so make the most of it. thank you."

daydreaming. its a hellofa time. this came from finding out kieera has aids and me and nick talking about brain tumors. woo boy. oh, btw, my internets up again and my computers in tip-top shape incase you hadnt noticed. enjoy. all that is allie.

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contemplated existance at 10:09 PM

3.17.2005

4:56 AM

have you ever...

Bought everyone in the pub a drink.
Swam with wild dolphins.
Climbed a mountain.
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive.
Been inside the Great Pyramid.
Held a tarantula.
Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
Said 'I love you' and meant it.
Hugged a tree.
Done a striptease.
Bungee jumped.
Visited Paris.
Watched a lightning storm at sea.
Stayed up all night long to watch the sun rise.
Seen the Northern Lights.
Gone to a huge sports game.
Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables.
Touched an iceberg.
Slept under the stars.
Changed a baby's diaper.
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.
Watched a meteor shower.
Gotten drunk on champagne.
Given more than you can afford to charity.
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope.
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment.
Had a food fight.
Bet on a winning horse.
Taken a sick day when you're not ill.
Asked out a stranger.
Had a snowball fight.
Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can.
Held a lamb.
Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one.
Taken a midnight skinny dip.
Taken an ice cold shower.
Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
Seen a total eclipse.
Ridden a roller coaster.
Hit a home run.
Fit three weeks miraculously into three days.
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.
Adopted an accent for an entire day.
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment.
Had two hard drives for your computer.
Visited all 50 states.
Loved your job for all accounts.
Taken care of someone who was really sick.
Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
Have amazing friends.
Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.
Watched wild whales.
Stolen a sign.
Backpacked in Europe.
Taken a road-trip.
Rock climbing
Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice.
Midnight walk on the beach.
Sky diving.
Visited Ireland.
Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love.
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.
Visited Japan.
Bench pressed your own weight.
Milked a cow.
Alphabetized your cds.
Pretended to be a superhero.
Sung karaoke.
Lounged around in bed all day.
Protested something you feel strongly against.
Scuba diving.
Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.
Kissed in the rain.
Played in the rain.
Gone to a drive-in theater.
Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
Started a business.
Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.
Dropped Windows in favor of something better.
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken.
Toured ancient sites.
Taken a martial arts class for like 7 years.
Swordfought for the honor of a woman.
Played a DVD for more than 6 hours straight.
Been in a movie.
Crashed a party.
Loved someone you shouldn't have.
Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy.
Gotten divorced. (kinda...)
Started an office war.
Gone without food for 5 days.
Made cookies from scratch.
Won first prize in a costume contest.
Ridden a gondola in Venice.
Gotten a tattoo.
Rafted the Snake River.
Been on television news programs as an "expert".
Got flowers for no reason.
Made out in a public place.
Got so drunk you don't remember anything.
Been addicted to some form of illegal drug.
Performed on stage.
Recorded music.
Eaten shark.
Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself.
Gone to Thailand.
Seen Siouxsie live.
Bought a house.
Been in a combat zone.
Buried one/both of your parents.
Shaved all of your hair off.
Been on a cruise ship.
Spoken more than one language fluently.
Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone.
Bounced a check.
Performed in theatre.
Read - and understood - your credit report.
Raised children.
Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country.
Found out something significant that your ancestors did.
Called or written your Congress person.
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over.
Walked the Golden Gate Bridge.
Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking.
Had an abortion.
Had plastic surgery.
Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
Held someone while they were having a flashback.
Piloted an airplane.
Pet a stingray.
Broken someone's heart.
Helped an animal give birth.
Been fired or laid off from a job.
Won money on a T.V. game show.
Broken a bone.
Killed a human being.
Gone on an African photo safari.
Ridden a motorcycle.
Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100km/h.
Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced.
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol.
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
Ridden a horse.
Had major surgery.
Ridden on a passenger train.
Had a snake as a pet.
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing.
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours.
Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.
Visited all 7 continents.
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days.
Eaten kangaroo meat.
Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
Been a sperm or egg donor.
Eaten sushi.
Had your picture in the newspaper.
Had 2 healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime.
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about.
Gotten someone fired for their actions.
Gone back to school.
Parasailed.
Changed your name.
Petted a cockroach.
Eaten fried green tomatoes.
Read The Iliad.
Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read a book by them.
Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, or cups because your apartment needed them.
Taught yourself an art from scratch.
Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt.
Skipped all your school reunions.
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language.
Been elected to public office.
Written your own computer language.
Thought to yourself that you're living your dream.
Had to put someone you love into hospice care.
Built your own PC from parts.
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.
Had a booth at a street fair.
Dyed your hair.
Been a DJ.
Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal.
Written your own role playing game.
Been arrested.
Hated someone.

jump on the bandwagon... id i mention im bored?

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contemplated existance at 4:56 AM

4:43 AM

like the blood on your back,
porch I left when I said,
sweet dreams,
the surf took hold,
and dragged this ship under
nights drift deeper than anchors and lifelines
if the situation were reversed, i have to wonder, would you have done the same for me? i guess thats an answer...

no rest for the wicked i sometimes say. i just spent (and am still doing) the whole night cleaning off my computer. thisll be the last post for awhile. goddamn i hate this trap of life that im stuck in. oooooh, how the spirals just keep going deeper...

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contemplated existance at 4:43 AM

3.15.2005

8:51 PM

Ted: I think God appreciates it even more because He created you in His image. At leats that's what I was always taught. And since God is love and God doesn't make mistakes, then you must be exactly the way he wants you to be, the way he intended you to be. And that goes for every person, every planet, every mountain, every grain of sand, every song, every tear, AND EVERY FAGGOT. We're all His, Emmett. He loves us all.

soooo sad!!!!!! at least he got emett back though! YAY! yea... sorry again... *O b S e S s E d*

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contemplated existance at 8:51 PM

3.06.2005

8:16 PM

roses are red
violets are blue
this line doesn't rhyme
and neither does this one

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contemplated existance at 8:16 PM
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