6.23.2005

8:20 PM

i think the truth is i'm everything i hate

flat rocks and floating bottles.
duck ponds and raindrops.
phone calls and cracked voices.
unsure thoughts and hopeful promises.
dark night skies and cold park benches.
wishes on stars never come true.

last night was one of the hardest nights of my life.

if it didn't mean anything, then what's making this so hard

everything is so messed up now.
i won't make a promise that i know i can't keep.
things aren't any easier for me than they are for either of you.
i'm not done.
i'm not walking away.
i'm not letting this go.
i'm stepping aside, for everyone's sake. and just giving it a rest for now.
and i hope, for your sake, that you can appreciate that.

i'll lock myself alone in a room
drink until the clock strikes noon
with just a pen, a pill, and some paper
and maybe i will write a sad song
or another cliche poem
of the person that i long to be

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contemplated existance at 8:20 PM

6.15.2005

8:25 PM

gaaaaah

He's not perfect and you aren't  either, and the two of you will never be perfect, but if he can make you laugh  when you don't even want to smile, and make you feel like you mean the world to  him, hold onto him & give him the most you can. He is probably not going to  quote poetry, he might not be thinking about you every second of the day, but he  will give you a part of him that he knows you can break. So don't hurt him,  don't change him & don't expect more than he can give. Don't over analyze  ANYTHING, forgive quickly and love always. Smile when he makes you happy, yell  when he makes you mad, cry when he makes you sad, and miss him when he's not  there. . . And always make sure he  knows how much you love him.

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