i think the truth is i'm everything i hate
flat rocks and floating bottles.
duck ponds and raindrops.
phone calls and cracked voices.
unsure thoughts and hopeful promises.
dark night skies and cold park benches.
wishes on stars never come true.
last night was one of the hardest nights of my life.
if it didn't mean anything, then what's making this so hard
everything is so messed up now.
i won't make a promise that i know i can't keep.
things aren't any easier for me than they are for either of you.
i'm not done.
i'm not walking away.
i'm not letting this go.
i'm stepping aside, for everyone's sake. and just giving it a rest for now.
and i hope, for your sake, that you can appreciate that.
i'll lock myself alone in a room
drink until the clock strikes noon
with just a pen, a pill, and some paper
and maybe i will write a sad song
or another cliche poem
of the person that i long to be
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contemplated existance at 8:20 PM
